"Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"
Quick Wit & Puns
Funny One-Liners & Clever Dad Jokes
Short, punchy, and utterly hilarious jokes to share with friends, family, and coworkers.
"I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places."
"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!"
"How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!"
"What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!"
"Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!"
"What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!"
"Can February March? No, but April May!"
"I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it."
"Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet."
"My wallet is like an onion: opening it makes me cry."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad."— Miles Kington
"I told the doctor I broke my arm in two places. He said, "Stop going to those places!""
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is definitely not for you."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me Kit-Kats."
Curated Editorial Guide
100+ Funniest Jokes & Puns Guaranteed to Make You Laugh
Explore our massive curated list of puns, one-liners, and story jokes with timing secrets.
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